A little over a year ago, I burned a business into the ground.
People tend to look at me funny when I talk about failing in business. They seem to still believe what we're all taught in school - that failing in work or in a relationship or in a business means that the person failing is a failure themselves. However, I was fortunate enough to grow up with family and loved ones that didn't believe this. They taught me that failure is simply a step on the way to success.
It was with that in mind that I decided to dig through the ash of my business and condense the lessons into the presentation I gave last week. Being surrounded by people who were all much smarter than me, I was worried it'd be a waste of everyone's time. But much to my surprise, it actually went over fairly well - even got voted third best presentation of the conference. A couple folks suggested I talk about my lessons here as well, for the benefit of all (and by all they meant my two readers.)
This is the first in a series of posts about my hard-earned lessons in entrepreneurship. It's about the thrills and pitfalls of starting a new venture. It's not about the 'business plan + venture capital = success' formula that you often learn in school, but rather the 'group of guys get together, pool their savings, and proceed to live off of Kraft Mac & Cheese for the next 6 months trying to build something worthwhile' formula. It's the formula that most people end up needing to pursue, and frankly, the only formula I know anything about.
I hope you find this at least marginally useful, and I'd love to hear about your own adventures.
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How do you spoof the SNL Narnia video and pull it off? Use cute kids.
On those rare occasions when I find myself in a conversation about the inherent goodness of people, I like to talk about kids.
I went back to Colorado again this past weekend to look for wedding sites. While we were back there we spent some time with my parents, and they ended up showing Michelle a bunch of videos from my childhood. It was amazing to see how different my brother, my friends and I all looked. But what was most striking was how mean we were. The video is full of us making jabs at each other, hitting each other, and generally trying to make each other feel bad about themselves. It was quite a spectacle.
Now, one could simply chalk it up as 'boys being boys' and move on. But I think it deserves a little bit more attention. Think back to when you were a kid. Think about how mean people were to each other. Think about how badly you/they desired to fit in, to be a part of the 'in crowd.' Think about how, if you were to go inside the little minds of the boys and girls you knew growing up, you'd likely find an immense amount of insecurity and envy.
Think about the stories your parents used to tell you about your childhood. Think about your own children during their first few years - and be honest. Did their behavior express patience, gentleness, goodness, humility, self-control? Do they constantly look for opportunities to help out, to think of other before themselves? Do they voluntarily give up something that they have, something that they love, so that someone else can enjoy it?
We like to believe that deep down we're very good people, and that perhaps the world, the media, or some mental illness is what corrupts people and turns them into something bad, something they're not. But it seems to me that by and large, it isn't the vices and the character flaws that we have to learn - it isn't badness, evil, sin, whatever you want to call it - it doesn't seem to me that society forces that down our throat. It seems to me that by the time we know what's going on, we're already very good at many of those things.
I grew up in an extremely loving household. I had two sets of fantastic parents who loved me and cared for me and made me feel special and important and worthwhile. I didn't have anything traumatic happen to me - didn't grow up in a bad neighborhood, never had to watch someone die, never was confronted directly with how unfair the world could be. And yet I was just as greedy and selfish and insecure as the next kid. I didn't have to have a rough life to learn these things - they came quite naturally.
Even now, if I'm really honest with myself, I know that many of the things that would make me a 'good person' - the acts of genorosity and kindness and the like - even after all these years, they often are still more difficult than the alternative. Even though I feel extremely guilty after lying or being self-centered, though I kick myself after for not giving money to the guy on the street or for saying something in anger, if I step back and think about how it feels beforehand, it seems to me that the less virtuous action is the easier action to take. If someone says something stupid or offensive to me, it takes work to not say something sarcastic back to them. It takes work for me to take out my wallet, hand a guy a few bucks and walk away without thinking about how that guy should get a job or about how virtuous I must have looked to the passersby.
Lots of people like to believe in the goodness of people - they like to think that sure, there are exceptions like Hitler or Hussain or their third grade teacher or their boss, but those are exceptions. And the things that they do themselves that are less than virtuous (and that, if they were truly honest about it, happen all the time) are swept under the rug, or shrugged off with a "well, nobody's perfect."
Watching that tape this past wekend, thinking about my childhood and the childhood of pretty much anyone I've ever known, I know better.
Conducted a student focus group at a client today, and was amazed at their responses. They were suprisingly, almost shockingly negative about their experience at the school.
As they were talking, I was wondering to myself how much of it was the school and how much of it was the group. This particular group of kids work together all the time, and it was obvous in the stories they told and how much they knew about each other.
I believe that it isn't just organizations or businesses that have a "culture" associated with them. I think groups of people - familes, friends, sports teams, classrooms - can similarly adopt an unstated sense of values, a framework through which they see the world.
Meetings like today reminded me that sometimes, a culture of negativity has a way of infecting each of its members. You take a cheerful, optomistic student and you stick him in this group and ask him to work with the others for 9 months, and I'm willing to bet you'd see a drastically changed person.
All the more reason to be extremely intentional in choosing the people you associate with. If you're surrounded by angry, bitter, negative people who consistently make you feel bad and bring you down, you need to significantly reduce (or eliminate altogether) the amount of time you spend with them. This is especially true if you have goals and ambitions that you're reaching for.
I heard a story once about catching crabs (the animal, not the medical condition.) As long as you have two or more crabs together, you can keep them in an extremely shallow container. Even though they could easily climb out on their own, the other crabs actually pull them back into the box.
It may take a lot of energy and it may hurt, but if you don't do whatever you can to get out of that box, the end result could be the death of your spirit.
There's a whole other world out there, and I caught a glimpse of it this past weekend.
There are people who have started successful consulting firms and have worked for two major media companies...and just reached an age where they can legally buy alcohol.
There are people who have had their lives shattered in the wake of natural disaster, and within 14 days have become part owners in what will certainly become marvelously successful ventures.
There are people who run websites where they post videos of guys getting hit in the head with shovels...and as a result never have to worry about money again.
There are people who have plans to go on trips that last 7 months and take them to 7 continents on no more than $7,000.
There are people who have started and sold multiple companies before they were 25, and who get to just kinda hang out as they deliberately plan their next enterprise that is certain to be just as successful as those that proceeded it.
There are people all over the world like this - unassuming, often very shy, usually extremely humble people - and you'd walk by them never knowing that they live in a world that is completely unlike your own. While you grind your brain into the ground at your job, they're doing things that they love and often living very well as a result.
Once you have a glimpse of this world, you tell yourself that you'll never let the door close on it - that you'll burn the memory of these people and what they represent into your brain. And you look forward to the day when you will live in their world - so joy-filled, so full of life, so open to whatever new opportunity or challenge comes their way.
Above all, you're immensely grateful that you had the chance to meet them.
From Wikipedia:
"Benoît B. Mandelbrot (born November 20, 1924) is a Polish-born French mathematician and leading proponent of fractal geometry. He is Sterling Professor of Mathematical Sciences, Emeritus at Yale University and IBM Fellow Emeritus at the Thomas J. Watson Research Center."
From my fiance, while reading the Misbehavior of Markets by Mandelbrot:
"He's saying that most theories for predicting market volatility are based on normal distributions, but technically they're based on log-normal distributions."
I'm engaged to the smartest person in the world.
P-Forum
January 04, 2006
By day, he's mind-mannered Patrick. A mechanic in the Air Force, he spends his days working on the enormously complicated cockpits of F-16's at a base in Greensboro, North Carolina. He's a trusted and loyal friend, a good son, and a great brother.
At night, he's one half of a rap group called the Degenerate Saints. For months I've been wanting to hear his music, and I finally got my chance when he gave me his CD for Christmas.
A lot of what he talks about would have gotten him grounded for months back home, and I think that's part of the point. But when you get past the fact that he and his partner insult just about everyone on the planet, what you're left with is some surprisingly good music. They did a really good job with their first CD - I really don't think you'd realize that they're just a couple of guys with some old recording equipment. Their stuff has been downloaded and purchased quite a bit from MySpace, and they perform often in the area. I'm seriously impressed.
It'll be interesting to see what happens to the group when he gets out of the militart - he plans to go back to Colorado and his partner plans to go back to Minnesota. But it's obvious the kid has talent.
But don't take my word for it - Listen for yourself.
Ryan Carson talked sales over at the SvN blog. Lots of good stuff, particularly about networking.
I dedicated a whole chapter to this in A Bright Red Package - networking represents the number one way to get a job, generate sales, find a vendor or look for employees. The business world is entirely about people, and those who know how to network have a decided advantage against those who don't.
When I left Colorado for Seattle two years ago, I did so without a job, without any interviews, without anything. But I did have my mentor from college - a former chair of the American Advertising Federation - and his confidence in me. I managed to sit down with the head of every major advertising agency in the city within a month, and it had nothing to do with me - his name and his recommendation did all the heavy lifting for me.
I'm convinced the only reason he was so willing to go to bat for me was because I broke the rules of traditional networking. I didn't approach it looking for anything. My mentor from the year before (hint - build yourself a whole slew of mentors!) had mentioned him, and I just asked if I could meet him. One phone call later and we set up lunch. I learned a lot from him - he had been a professor, a managing director at a top 5 New York agency and an entrepreneur - but I didn't ask for anything. Just thanked him, sent him a card, and stayed in touch. The relationship blossomed over time on his terms, not mine. The end result was an internship, and eventually a tap into any advertising agency I wanted.
Networking is not about reaping at all - it's about sowing. It's about looking for as many opportunities to help people as possible. It's about saying thank you whenever someone does anything for you, regardless how small it is. It's about keeping in touch with them, letting them know you still care about them. It's about doing all these things, whether you think the potential exists for a profitable business relationship or not.
You'll find that it comes back to you - in terms of business, but also in terms of a healthy, happy life. You'll get referrals from the most unlikely of places. You'll discover that the best doctor in town is just a phone call away when you most need it. You'll discover that people love to help those who are generous with their time and energy. Call it karma, call it a psychological need on the part of humanity to practice reciprocity. Whatever it is, it will work in your favor to improve your business and your life.
Some quick tips for those looking to get started:
- Join LinkedIn, create a profile, and begin tracking down long lost contacts. Coworkers, classmates, whatever. If they're not using LinkedIn yet, invite them. You'll quickly discover who knows who and what these people are looking for. (If you're reading this, feel free to connect with me - would be happy to help you. Email is sean dot johnson at gmail dot com.)
- Start helping people! Is someone looking for a job in banking? Introduce them to your buddy who works for Chase! Someone hoping to get involved in an NGO in Africa, and you remember having a friend who served a stint in Ghana? Hook them up.
- Join a professional organization in your community, and get involved. They're always looking for talented, hard-working people (I managed to get a temporary position with the Seattle Ad club in my first 10 days in the city.)
- Have an enormous stack of thank you notes. Mail out at least one a day.
- Before boarding you plane, pick up a few magazines. Rip out interesting articles, put them in envelopes and mail them to someone you haven't talked to in a while who might be interested. Include a note telling them that you miss them and hope to see them soon.
- Remember birthdays.
- Most important, never keep score. That's not the point.
Who can you reconnect with right now?
