August 10, 2003
I've recently begun the process of rediscovering God. I was raised in a Christian household, and have always been a pretty good kid. But in college, I was surrounded by thousands upon thousands of kids who claim to be "religious but not spiritual," which basically amounts to believing in a higher power but not wanting to be held accountable for anything. As much as I hate to admit it, I think a lot of that transferred to my life.
If I were ever to get into a conversation about the spiritual realm, I was terrific at defending my faith. Part of that was because I've always been interested in the Bible from a pretty scientific standpoint (first the theory of evolution, then the creation of the world, and most recently the merits of the Trinity.) Part of that was because I'm pretty gifted at debate. But in the months that have passed since leaving school, I've slowly arrived at the realization that I don't live my life in accordance with anything I claim to believe. I'm just as guilty as everyone else, which was upsetting (in case you didn't notice, I also have an enormous problem with ego. I'm working on it.)
All of this may sound strange to some - I have more than my share of friends who agree with you - but something like your purpose in the world, the force behind that purpose, and the way that force wants you to live to fulfill that purpose seem like pretty important things.
I'm kicking myself daily for not realizing things sooner. But I guess it's never too late to take advantage of a shot at redemption. We'll see what happens.
