I’ve got a lot of Irish in me (red hair, blue eyes, bright white skin, etc,) but for some reason I’ve never been all that into St. Patrick’s Day. Part of it may be that I haven’t the slightest idea who St. Patrick was and what he did – from what I can surmise, he was a small man who wore green and was always trying to steal marshmallows out of children’s cereal. Oh, and he was blasted out of his gord.
Each year I seem to forget it’s even a holiday, until someone decides to remind me by chastising me for not donning green – even as an adult, I’m still sometimes surprised by a hard pinch when I’m not paying attention. People seem genuinely upset that I – an obvious Irishman – am not sharing the holiday spirit with them. Maybe they just want me to live a little. Maybe they’re upset because they’re dressed up as a giant shamrock. Regardless of the reason, I inevitably hurt someone’s feelings with my fairly obvious indifference.
So this year I’m going to do it differently. I’m going to show up at work decked in green from head to toe. I’m going to wish everyone a fantastic holiday. I’m going to down a dozen pints of Guiness. I’m going to be the life of the party. Yes sir, next Monday will be the best St. Patrick’s day ever.
…what do you mean St. Patrick’s Day is today?
