Every few weeks I get reminded that I work too much. I have a day like today, a day spent at the house watching Walk The Line, eating and being unproductive…and it noticably upsets me. I like to work, and when I don’t I feel as though I’m wasting time.
What is that?
I believe strongly that our work is a form of prayer. Work came before Eve took a bit out of fruit – part of human existence is to engage in and enjoy the creative process.
But only to a point – a point that I routinely blow past. I don’t know how to put it down. I’ve worked this way since college, and it’s turned me into a very dull person.
Worse, it’s turned me into a very dry person. You’re not meant to live this way. It’s been about three years since I graduated, and I’ve gotten into this mode where from the moment I get up until the moment I go to sleep I’m doing, doing, doing.
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to become a 9-5 type – I’d probably go crazy with all the downtime. But there comes a point where you have…to….stop.
I desperately hope a day doesn’t come when I have regret – regret caused by not turning the computer off enough, not stepping outside enough, not calling up my friends enough, not playing enough. Not slowing down enough to enjoy life, to be a better friend and family member and….husband. A better father.
Why is it so hard to let go of our goals, our agendas, our plans long enough to just enjoy life the way God wants us to? Why is it so difficult to forget about our to-do list for the week, forget about the things we’re trying to accomplish long enough to enjoy this beautiful world, the smell of the air, the sound of people laughing, the taste of that cup of coffee I’m gulping down, the feelings behind the voice on the other side of the table?
Why do I have to keep reminding myself that my work is never going to give me what it is I’m thirsty for, that thing that God is so eager to give me if I just put the work down and ask?
Who’s going to get that mockup done while I’m ‘at peace?’
