What is love?
In the Greek language there are three kinds of love.
EROS love, from which we get the word erotic. It refers to a self-referential love. That is, you love this person or thing because of what they do for you. This isn’t always a bad thing – a baby loves their mother because without her they wouldn’t survive.
PHILO love, from which we got the name of the city Philadelphia. It refers to the kind of love you have towards your friends, family, etc.
AGAPE love, from which we get the word…uh, agape. It refers to love without regard to yourself.
Looking back over the past few years, I’ve come to realize that I was great in the eros and philo departments, but have been sadly lacking when it comes to having or demonstrating agape love.
My closest friends would agree that I’m great at philo. I’ll listen when they have problems and encourage them where I can. I’ll bring everyone together for football games, or poker, or a night on a town. I’ll go to ridiculous lengths to find them the perfect Christmas presents.
I’m also the master at eros. It’s embarrassing to think about how much energy I put into helping out others to make myself feel good. Sure, they benefit from the encounter, but my motives are not altruistic. I feel good knowing that I have the power to help someone. It’s almost as if what would appear as humility is in fact inward arrogance.
Look at how great I am! This person thinks I’m wonderful.
Agape? I’m not sure I even know what that feels like. In the past few months, there have been moments where I have done things completely without regard to my own welfare, but I’m not sure if that’s agape. I’m not sure I’d know even if it were.
What’s interesting is that agape was an obscure word in the Greek language until the early Christians began using it. It was the word they’d use to describe the love Christ had for us. And it makes sense. He died for all of us and our sin, even though he was sinless himself.
The Bible talks about us learning to love each other like Christ loves the church – that is, like he loved us. I’d be willing to bet that there’s a pretty direct correlation between living for Christ and our capacity for agape.
There must be. I honestly don’t think I’m capable of experiencing agape love by myself. I’m as selfish a person as you’ll find. I’m good at camouflaging it, but most of my actions are done to help myself.
It sucks admitting that. But if I can’t realize that I’m selfish and I can’t have agape love by myself, I can’t do what it takes to draw closer to God and experience it through Him.
That’s crazy. I’m almost 23, and I’ve never been in love. At least not the way I should be.
